Hello friends! A while back I was posting a series of “Truthful Thursdays” where I opened up and share the truth behind me, my business, my life, the house, marriage and more. I got great feedback from my readers and some wondered if I was going to bring those posts back. So here it goes……..
****Warning**** This post you are about to read is long & it may cause controversy, judgmental thoughts, disagreements, etc. BUT, BUT it is the real deal. I hope you stick around.
It’s 6pm on a Friday night. I wake up from a much needed 3 hour-nap. I still feel tired. I sit here and my husband just left to take my girls to flag football practice. My little one tells me before she leaves “mommy, I want you to come to practice with us”. It made me super sad I wasn’t awake to go with them to practice. I’m alone now. I’m crying more like bawling. I’m spent. I have no energy to do ANYTHING. My body aches. I’m worn out period. What’s wrong with me?
I need a little uplifting, some encouragement. I get on Facebook. I go to Instagram. I check Twitter. I check my emails. I check comments on my blog. I check Pinterest. Social media is consuming my time. My life period. I enjoy reading, following friends, acquaintances, talented business women, etc. I like interacting, commenting and being engaged. It takes tons of time from what I really need to be doing like being with my family though.
“Always value your reputation with God more than your reputation with man” ~ Joyce Meyer ~ Funny I read this on Facebook at the time I’m feeling this way. Why do I care so much about my reputation and what others think of me? I kept reading Joyce Meyer’s FB wall. I had missed many posts because I’m more focused on growing my business, getting more followers, more comments, more attention, whatever it may be.
Another post from her reads “Stop living to please everybody else, follow your own heart and really do what you believe that God wants you to do. Get out of the boat!”~ Joyce Meyer ~
Can you say “WOW!!!”? I’m convinced someone is telling me something. I need to stop. Re-evaluate. Slow down. Focus on my family. Spend time with friends. Rest more. Play more. Laugh more. Be happy.
I have realized that my passion for parties has turned into a burden. How fun is that? I want it to be like it used to be and enjoy my parties, my girls, my family, guests, etc. I’m stressed (not to mention exhausted) before, during and after the party. I’m too worried about the darn weather, the table not being set up right, the tablecloth didn’t get ironed, the ribbon isn’t wide enough, the centerpiece is too small, the lighting for taking photos, the cupcakes aren’t pretty enough, you name it! You get the idea. Disappointment sets in. Why? Why do I do this to myself? Who am I trying to impress? I’m NOT perfect! I quit. I quit because it isn’t healthy for me, for my family. This doesn’t mean I quit loving parties and hosting them even blogging about them. I love sharing ideas and inspiring women. I’m going to focus on balance and setting my priorities straight.
“The more you hurry, the more mistakes you make. Slow down, breathe and learn to be led by God, not driven by impatience.” ~ Joyce Meyer ~
I continue to be spoken to. It’s hard to ignore. I get to my computer and start typing this post you are reading. I’m scared to publish it. I’m worried what people will say. I worry people might stop following. I know I will be judged, I will be criticized, talked about, etc. I’m nervous and tell myself to not share this with anyone. Did you notice how many times I used the word “I”? Pure selfishness. I remembered reading this on Pastor Rick Warren’s FB page earlier in the week- “The more I focus on me, the more unhappy I’ll be”. Isn’t this so true? Life isn’t about me.
God has given me a gift to decorate parties, but now my mission is to find a way to bless others with this gift. I have SO MUCH more to share about this, but will wait for another post.
I jump to Rick Warren’s FB page to catch up on his posts. “Life is miserable when you build it around yourself. You’re not the center of the universe.” ~ Rick Warren ~ My goodness! I’m feeling pretty beat up by now, but at the same time with peace. Free. Not burdened as I decide to make some changes STAT. As in TODAY (that was a couple of months ago). I already lost 4 years focused on me and building a business instead of being focused on my family & friends. I can never get those years back, but I have learned making mistakes and almost loosing my family (more on that on a different post). I can switch directions and move forward to do what God has called me to do.
I am so thankful for the community I have built, the support from customers, followers and fans however, I must step back and focus on the most important things in life- God- My Husband – My Girls- My Friends, Etc. Don’t get me wrong my business has been a blessing as well. I have met so many awesome women who are now dear friends of mine. They have enriched my life, inspired me and encouraged me in many ways. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for this wild and fun A to Zebra Celebrations journey.
I mentioned earlier that I quit. Rick Warren says this: “The phrase “IT’S OVER” can be devastating or liberating, depending on the side you’re on. Either way, always turn to God“. I’m liberated after my decision friends. I’m even smiling now. My heart isn’t heavy. My body is rested because I get more sleep now too…Yay!
I hope you continue to follow as I reveal so much more to you every week. I have this BIG dream and vision of something that will be ooooohhhhh so awesome, rewarding and fulfilling. I pray you will join me after I share what it is because I can’t do it alone and I promise is NOT about me or my family.
Thank you if you are still reading and I didn’t bore you with my issues LOL.
Love you all!